suicide note

F*ck, I’m Still Alive…

I woke up
Fuck I'm still alive...
For a moment I wasn't breathing until I open my eyes
Head feels like it's been stump by a truck
Mind feels like it had fireworks inside
Body so numb and yet so shaky
Couldn't stand, for my feet were wiggling 
And had no balance, I was just light
Couldn't swallow a thing expect water and milk
My stomach was growling like a dying cow
My eyes were blurry and feeling weird
I just felt everything all at once, every pain
I wanted to cry but no tears came out
Like why am I still alive? LORD?
Oh how I wanted to die...
And for the 6th time, death denied me
Death denied again.

©Kitty Minaj

9 thoughts on “F*ck, I’m Still Alive…

      1. In my journal, every day I make note of something I’m grateful for just to remind myself that it’s not 100% bad. Even if things are 99% bad, I can almost always come up with 1% that’s good. My pet guinea pigs are pretty reliable for that 1% good.

        Liked by 1 person

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